when it rains it pours.......

Death in the family...
He left the family...
It runs in the family.

up and down for the past 2 weeks and the support system ii thought ii had, dwindles down a few more... fuck ii can't deal with this!

tryna push forward.


"ii hate this part rite here, ii hate this part rite here"

the sun sets and rises on me.

in the past week ii have realized that people can change. ii witnessed it with more than one person. and for those that feel ppl can't change. ii believe that is wrong. it is true that one can not change a person but if they want to, they'll change themselves. it's a beautiful thing to watch when they change for the better... my brother is one who ii have watched changed. ii don't know if his change is due to him not smoking any more but ii like it. he is now taking steps in his life that are long overdue. but ii won't say that ii am not scared for him because ii am... just as scared for him as ii am for myself, goodness. ii hope he makes it in this world, because i'm tired of seeing ppl ii care about fall rite when they have found the strength to pick themselves back up.

so, ii now think that ii have done what i had set this year out to do...

here's my sanctuary>>

ii have found peace within myself. ii no longer look for my happiness within someone else. although, he is still in my life, ii no longer rely on him to LIVE. ii have been living my life and having a great time. ii know it sounds a bit dumb, you're probably thinking whyy would someone even be so consumed in a relationship..but shiit, you'd be surprised at what can happen when you fall for someone or love someone, what ever you want to call it.now, fuck it, the sun sets and rises on me. love you.

quote of the dayy and my mood to anyone who cares...

"you can never become happy bringing other people misery" so do yourself a favor and don't be trife.

sooooooooooo you're mad cuz.......

the lakers are FUCKING BOSS!

sooooooooooooooooooooooo

...no more neverLAnd.
back to AZ. but, ii was ready. every time ii go home, my mom always says that ii have matured away at school, but in this trip home, ii have noticed it on my own. goodness gracious, i'm growing up, that thing that ii dread. :(

ii have come to the conclusion that ii mite be just about done with clubbin and all that.. i realize that the previous statement is a contradiction in itself but shiit that's what it is. lol

ohh, i saw Nortorius twice. ii think ii thought it was good the second time. ii was told that ii didn't like it because it didn't have a happy ending like ii would want since ii, "watch all those damn disney movies"

ii feel like ii think too much sometimes...but shiit who wants a girl without her own mind...so untill next time, i'll be thinking some more...

ii have now realized...

that ii will no longer allow myself to live for others... that may come as a shock to many because your first thought is probably judgmental in that you think i'm stupid for not living for me all along but in truth, sometimes it is hard... and living to please others is even harder; so fuck you and have a nice day. thanks.

ii have come to the conclusion that when ii do what ii want, ii am happier. ii can no longer live my life for anyone else. ii mean, ii understand my shiit is a bit more exciting than some, but damn, lemme do this over here and you do that over there. thanks.

so lemme give you guys a couple examples of ppl that let me do me...bree's missing though but picture her in there somewhere between whoever. love these lames.

church this morning...

is the truth of all lives.



forgive those who have hurt you and your sins will be forgiven.